We’re Soul Mates! But You’re Already Married?!

soul mate relationships

Lovers - Ismael Nery - courtesy of wikimedia commons

All of us long to meet our soul mate. A soul mate is another person who we feel so in tune with that when we are with them we feel complete. We have many relationships in our lives and sometimes we decide that we have met the right person although they are not our soul mate.

So why is it after meeting someone and being in relationship or getting married to them, out of the blue you meet your soul mate? Or sometimes, you are the single one and you meet your soul mate only to find out they are married! What does this mean?

There are people who have lived many lives together who are from the same soul group. These are a number of souls who tend to incarnate together in many different roles, lifetime after lifetime.

You may have waited for your soul mate for a while and then in the meantime, met someone (from your soul group) whom you fell in love with and wanted to be with. This doesn’t mean that this is the wrong person.

It means that this is the person who resonates with you at that time according to:

1. Your core belief system about yourself, other people, and the world
2. The Divine Plan – what you and the Creative Intelligent Force (God, the Universe, etc.) decide would be good for you to experience
3. Where you are in your growth as a spiritual being

Here you are on earth, going about your life believing that you need to take care of someone in order to feel needed. Let’s say that’s your primary core belief about you. Who are you going to attract?

Perhaps, as part of the Divine Plan of helping you to experience yourself so you can evolve, this is what you both agreed to at a soul level. So at this time, the person who is not necessarily your soul mate, but who is the person you chose on a conscious and soul level is the one in your life.

You may or may not be feeling satisfied with your relationship. But then your soul mate comes along and your emotions are all over the place. You are:

1. Incredibly attracted to them
2. Going crazy because you can’t seem to get them out of your head
3. Seeing all the things in them that you wish you had in your current relationship (even if your current relationship is fine – it will highlight things you wish you had with your current partner)
4. Wondering if you are with the wrong person and should be with your soul mate

However, keep in mind, your soul mate may not be at the same place of growth as you, may not be emotionally or physically available, and you may be in a perfectly good marriage or relationship.

So why did they show up now? My thinking is that it could be for a couple reasons. One is that you wanted to cross their path because you do resonate with them so much. It doesn’t mean that they are meant to stay in your life.

Think of your soul mate as a really great friend that you’ve known…well, forever. You both decide to come to a school called Earth along with a bunch of other friends.

Thing is, once you enroll, none of you remembers each other, or even your true self.

Your soul mate signs up for a different class than you. Because you know you won’t be seeing each other for a while, you say – “Hey, let’s meet on such and such a day and time.” And so it’s decided for you to meet.

Off you all go to school and forget. You are born, grow up, meet someone, get married, and then that particular day and time comes.

Hey! It’s your soul mate! Nice to see you but now you feel the connection and wonder why the circumstances are they way they are.

I also think that sometimes you touch each others’ lives to help you both grow further and clarify what it is you want to create in your life and relationships.

Soul mates do find each other, and some soul mates are in the right place in their lives that they end up in relationship with their soul mate while on earth. For others, there is some small comfort knowing that you are always connected to them on an energetic level and eventually, we will all be together again.

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44 Responses to We’re Soul Mates! But You’re Already Married?!

  1. carol ryan says:

    I am so interested in this article because what you said truly describe my recent experience and I am wondering if this man was my husband in a past life because we both feel like we were together before spiritually he is pagan and I am a Christian but we both so drawn to each other , he is married but I am single he lives in th US and I am In Canada . Is like you were talking about me in this article

    • admin says:

      Yes it is very likely that you were together in a past life. And probably more than one. Interesting that you two chose two different spiritual paths in this lifetime. Circumstances can not hide a strong connection at the soul level.

    • Shirley says:

      This happened to me as well. The funny thing is that we don t contact each other cause he is married and lives on the other side of the world. When we use to see each other we used to stare at each and ignore all around us, unbelievable. My soul is graving for him
      I wanted to ask does he feel same like I do cause he haunt my thoughts:( Is there a way spiritually that I can contact him and make him contact me

  2. maria says:

    My soul-mate hates me, but i love her.

  3. Lynn says:

    My soulmate… A man of whom I share a mutually resonate connection with on an absolutely majestic level. We met 4 years ago and within the first 5 minutes we had both recognized there was a profound connection deeper and more kindred than either of us had ever encountered– almost as if we had a reocurring partnership from a past life.

    Our morals, values, and kinship is so mutually intense it’s as if we were lovers our whole life. Not only are we best friends, but we are interdependently engulfed in an incredibly deep true love— as true as true love can be.

    It reminds me of my only direct experience of witnessing real true love– my grandparents.

    It’s a women’s dream and nightmare simultaneously…the man who has my heart and soul is married– but not to his soulmate, but for feasible reasoning; a promise to his father (who was soon to pass) & because his (now) wife was pregnant with there son at the time.

    I know there is no way to convince myself this is morally/socially right– but we both believe in our hearts it is, and we were a gift from above to have each other.

    I Love this man with all my heart, I only the best for him. I’m beyond demoralized… we both whole heartedly believe we are soul mates and would be able to love each other so deeply through eternity.. But when I look at their four year old my emotions become increasingly distressed with thought of breaking HIS family.

    I never believed you should get married for the sole reason of pregnancy– but since its the current reality I’m emotionally dealing with and his son is my primary concern I ache.

    Where we are at today…
    Last month my true love and I had a week long traveling business trip together, the first time we have had a week of non interrupted quality time; I live half way across the country. Our love was so real it was impossible to hide it.

    The sentiments of my conscience get more and more overwhelming everyday— staying in there home living in there life. I would never put myself through the grevious heartache if I didn’t know with every part of my being it was real. His son whispered in my ear today he loved me. Is it wrong that I loath to one day be this sweet little boys stepmother?

    I need help from an outside non-biased perspective. I can’t even confide in my closest friends because by just understanding the surface situation and not physically feeling my passion one would not be able to give me the right advice… Especially if they’ve never been in this position. I’m a ball of intensity– I’ve never felt so much love and distress in my life.

    I minored in psych in college, Ive always understood how my mentality works, I’ve always been in control of my emotions… Until now…

    • admin says:

      Such a difficult situation! I agree, an outside non-biased person can help. Perhaps it would be good to seek a counsellor. They can help you come to a decision on what is best. It would do no good for me or another to tell you what is “right” for you. This is something that you need to decide for yourself – take responsibility for that decision – and know in your heart you did the right thing.

  4. Pomy says:

    I also resonated with this. I met my soulmate two years ago. I was already in a relationship with a good person, and am engaged to be married. Wishing to honour the commitments I had already made, my soulmate who is single and I agreed not to see each other. We have since had two episodes of contact, and each time it is extremely intense. I don’t even have to see him, as he is always there in my mind, and it is like we are communicating even when we don’t see each other. Strangely, I get an intense burning sensation in my right ear, and have subsequently found out that at those times he has been talking a lot about me with his friends, or thinking about me. Neither of us can let this go. We both have the almost irrational belief that we will, and are meant to be together. I’m a very logical person and none of this “makes sense.” but deep down we both feel it and disclosed that we both felt it instantly. It really does feel like I already knew him when I met him. Lynn – I empathise with you. It is crazy, overwhelming and difficult. I can tell you have a conscience and do not wish to hurt anyone. I hope that you get the outcome that you and the others involved need.

  5. Will says:

    Im in a situation where I am married to a woman who truely lo ves me. We’ve been together for ten years and married for five. Before we got together ten years ago I was with my true soul mate. At that time we were wild and young but mad about each other. After being together for a while, I gey scared to death for the feelings im having for her and I duck and run. Only because I loved her and didnt want to risk ruining what we had because of my way of life at that time. Long story short, after ten years with this wonderful women, “POOF” she appears again. And these past ten years, she crossed my mind at least once a week and I always wished I would have stayed with her but always figured I would never see her again. And now here she is. And the emotions and feelings begin to overflow and I cant control them. As of right now im a hot mess!!!! We have had
    a few times to hang out and talk recently and its la dream!!! We are lost in each other. So, the other night I laid my feelings all out on the table and I told her I was still in love with her. I told her I dont want her to feel pressured at all by this at alland to take her time to see ho0w she felt. I didnt make it out of the room before she said I have always felt that way about you. She is my soul mate and thats where my heart lies and where it has always been. So now I have to figure out how to break this to my wife as gentle as possible and when I leave my whole family will turn their backs on me. But she is without a doubt my soulmate. She feels so sad for the things im gonna have to do to be with her and she understands that I love my wife and I never would wish this upon her. I love my wife but im madly in love with my soul mate. And shes who I want and she wants me. She is supporting me throughall of this! Im pretty sure I cant coue with my wife when my heart is with someone else. And it hurts me to know that this is going to hurt my wife. I ve asked for sign and prayed for signs that this is the right decision. All signs have been presrnted. I think I would stupid to not pursue this. My soul mate told me she was ready to ride or die withme. And

    she is dead serious!!! She and I truly believe this was no fluke!!! So, my question is what is the gentlist way to handle this /how do I break this to my wife?way that will hurt the leastpplpuppy

    ,

    I just have to say it. I told her to take a few days, weeks, months

    the most perfect feeling I’ve
    ever felt inside of me!!! Like a dream almost. So, last night, after a week of turmoil, crying fits, emotional distress, I go to there to lay it all on the table

    • Will says:

      Any advice would greatly help me!!! Anyone please!!

      • Kisha says:

        Will, I understand! I was in a situation like that a year ago with my 1st love I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember singing alyhia “One Million” to him when we were younger just like it was yesterday. I love my soul mate he is married, but I want him so bad. I don’t want no one else, I compare and contrast every guy I meet to him. I think about him all the time at least once a week, I want him to be happy overall. I will never get married if it’s not to him because I never loved a man like I loved him. I’ve lusted after others before but I never truly loved them, not even close. I can’t control my feelings and emotions about him. The connection is so real, I will always love him no matter what we go through and what different paths we take throughout life. I don’t regret us meeting up last year because I needed closure. I got closure but I still crave this man, my soul craves him. I feel him in my spirit it’s crazy but a true feeling.

    • admin says:

      I see you have already decided to leave your wife and that you are wanting to know how to talk to her so that it minimizes the amount of emotional pain she will feel. There is no easy way to let someone know that you have decided to end a relationship.

      I strongly suggest that you seek counselling for yourself to help you through this transition. An outside source of support will help you keep yourself grounded and clear while your emotions are all over the place.

      There is a lot of advice on the web about how to break up with someone you love. This is a straight-forward website that you may want to look at: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8340/the-angry-therapist-how-to-break-up-with-someone.html

      I have no affiliation with this site or the therapist. He just says it well.

      I hope it helps.

  6. Delvedeni says:

    I am going thru the same exact thing Lynn! And Will’s issue is the same of my soulmate. The only thing is I push him away because he’s married and he doesn’t want to hear of it! He wants me and he wants to stay with his wife! My heart aches after I see him and I long to be with him! I know exactly what he wants,his smell is familiar and I drown in his eyes in a sea of love and it’s so mystical! I get butterflies in my stomach even if I’m angry with him. I love him so much but I’m afraid to break up his family and hurt his little girl. Help! I falling for him more and more each day! We decided to stop talking,we did,a month passed and that was it we can’t get enough of each other. My heart can’t take anymore heart ache. I know he is the one but I push him away for the sake of his family but he seems unhappy and incomplete. What should I really pursue? His happiness or his fidelity?

    • admin says:

      Hello Delvendi,

      Sometimes it can be hard to see what’s best when your emotions are so intense. I notice that you ask if you should pursue his happiness or his fidelity. What about your happiness and fidelity? Would you really be content in a relationship where you are not the number one priority of your partner? He has already told you that he wants to stay with his wife. Would you also be content knowing that there is another family that he shares his time with and that they know nothing about his secret life? These are questions that only you can answer. What is best for you?

      With kind regards,
      Selina

  7. Marie says:

    I met my possible soulmate (both of us are married), darn it about 9 months ago. I have gone through a spiritual growth lately after a temporary separation because the pain was so bad when he was upset with me for saying how positive I think he is.
    Such a strong connection from a lot of joys to some lows, back to some joys now. Hoping the painful part is behind us now. I’m hoping for some better times. He is my calm when things are going well, and an unspoken connection is there for sure. I haven’t experienced it before, so many uncertainties which I just put those fears and give them to God.

  8. sam says:

    Hi
    I have met my soulmate thanks to god. I dont think i can ever feel so comfortable with anyone like i do with him. We are both not married but we are facing many problems in our family. We are both frm same religion but we have great cultural and language differences. I feel if my family isnt happy about my marriage i wont feel happy and will b guilty tht i didnt lissen to thm. I cant decide if i should go against them to b with my soul mate or marry the guy they want me to marry. If i do what they want thn im so scared to death of missingg my partner and regreting my decision. Pleasee help me in this situation. Im in such confusion.
    I belong to eastern culture where marriage is taken very seriously and these decisions are not made only on emotional connections but many different levels of the two families getting along.
    Please help me in this decision.
    Thanks.

    • admin says:

      Hi Sam,

      Glad you have met your soulmate and that you are both free to choose to be together. I understand the pressure you must be facing having a traditional family. It is fortunate for you in this instance that you are both from the same religion as I know that this can be a big problem given your family’s beliefs. This may be enough for them to agree with your choice.

      There are many things I could tell you, but I will only ask you to think about one. It is rare for people to meet their soulmate and be free to be with them. If you don’t approach your family about this, will you have regrets for the rest of your life and start to resent them?

      I do not minimize the difficulties that families can make. I do feel that in the end, it is your choice and one that you may want to approach your parents with before you make your final decision. There is no right or wrong choice here. Either way, please make a choice that you will be able to live with.

      All the best,
      Selina

  9. Liz says:

    I have known this guy since highschool, but have known friends and family of his since age 7. Though we have drifted apart several times (sometimes for years) we always find eachother.
    I feel the most raw, irrational love and connection to him. I need him in my life. He on the other hand has always chosen someone else to be with. We have tried several times over the decades to be together, but he always wanted to see other people after a while. All the women he gets with with exception to a few, all look like me and are similar to me in almost every way. Except they don’t love him the way I do.
    He says he loves me and feels there is a reason we keep coming back to eachother but that we always try when he’s been hurt by another and he’s just not ready.
    I am engaged now and have two kids who love my Fiancee and he treats them like his own kids. I love him but Don’t feel as connected or “full” as when I’m around my soulmate.

    • admin says:

      Hi Liz,

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I’m sure there are many people who can relate to where you are right now. You are fortunate that you met you love, who loves you and your kids. Although it may not feel as “full” right now, if you decide to make this your intention, you will be able to create a fulfilling relationship with your partner.

      I wish you all the best,

      Selina

  10. Colleen says:

    I met my soul mate 2 years ago. In my case, we are both married, w/children – but not with each other. My mind is such a clutter, most times, that I feel like I can’t think or speak straight. We work together. We chose the same shift. We chose the same “off days”. I look forward to being with him every day. I miss him when we are apart. He brings a smile out in me that no one else can. He makes me laugh. I giggle when my coworkers call him my “work husband”. I love the jokes we share, the random texts, the general concern – I know I can tell him anything. Well almost, I’ve never mentioned how deeply I feel. I never want to cross the line, because we are married. But, I feel so deeply – it almost hurts. It drives me crazy. I can’t stop feeling the way I do. I never thought I would find someone that I feel is perfect. We share so much in common. I’ve never known a man (besides my own father) who is such a dedicated, honest and hard worker, so involved with their children and puts their needs in front of others.
    I suppose if my marriage was somewhat happy, I wouldn’t feel so drawn elsewhere?! But, it is what it is. At this time, we are married – to other people. Maybe in another life, our souls will be together.

    Thank you for this post, I don’t feel so crazy anymore for these feelings I just can’t explain (even at 36 yrs old).

    • admin says:

      Hi Colleen,

      Thank you for sharing this with us. You are right, it is what it is for this lifetime. It’s hard to imagine anything more than what we experience in this life, but this is really one moment in our experience of eternity. Eventually we will all be together again. Bless you for your wisdom.

      Take care,
      Selina

  11. Milk says:

    This really touches me as I met my soulmate all of a sudden and we work together for 3 years now. He is from a different county and already married with 2 kids.

    We click on almost every aspects and we work amazingly together. I feel very much comfortable around him and I love seeing him and talking to him. It is a deep level of connection and it comes from deep inside, something more powerful than love or crush. I though made it clear when things were to step in different direction, that he is just an amazing friend. [ not directly just while he is trying to express his feelings, I was returning it with how appreciative I am to be his friend. ]

    It actually hurts as I love him very much but I know I would never step in someone’s life or look at another woman husband. I am trying now to enjoy our time together as much as I can though he is on a distance time and is keeping himself away from me after I corrected the direction of his feelings.

    It truly sucks and I wish it happened differently but yea, I have to accept it as it is .

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  13. I blue says:

    I met my soul mate many years ago. The time we met being 5years older than the guy was a no no. He was forced to call things off but at the time I thought it was his decision so I was totally broken and so was he. He went his way and I went mines. I married (13yrs) and had two beautiful children. He’s been in several relationships and one nearly killed him and now he’s a week out from being married and I am divorced. 5 years ago our connection drew us back to one another and it was like our conversations never ended our working together just brought us closer. We support one another spiritually and emotionally. Our communication is amazing. The connection between us is so powerful that we smile when we don’t realize it and we try so hard to fight it but everyone sees it. My kids have grown to really like him in our lives but now it’s time to say goodbye because he wants to be married. I want a chance to live the rest of my life with him but he also says he’s happy with her and scared with me. He chooses happy over love because he says it feel like he’s out of controls and that’s too much like right. Yes we have gone to some lengths that we shouldn’t have but right now all I can do is sit back and let him have his happy even though I’m crying once again. They say God’s delays are not God’s denials. But I know it too late, because within 3days there will be another delay and I just don’t believe anything afterwards is meant to be. Are Some soul mates just meant to cross paths?

    • Selina says:

      Hi,

      Such a long time to wait to connect again and such difficult circumstances! Yes, I believe that some soul mates are meant to cross paths. Unfortunately, we are not all given the opportunity to share a life with our soul mates, even if we do cross paths. Perhaps it is not meant to be for the two of you as there are other people in your future that you will connect with. Meaningful relationships happen when your heart is open. Maybe this gentleman showed back up in your life to show you that you can open your heart again and that it was not meant to be for the two of you to be together.

      With kindness and blessings,
      Selina

  14. Jane Doe says:

    My husband is not nor has ever been my soul mate, and our relationship was rocky for quite a while. Four months ago, I started working with a fellow in an organization, and am deeply attracted to him. We have shared hundreds of e-mails about things that really matter to me, things my husband could care less about. I am not sure where this is going, but I am pretty sure that if he initiates a relationship, I won’t be able to deny it. At the same time, my husband has suddenly become nice to me again. I am very torn over this.

    • Selina says:

      Hi Jane,

      Thanks for sharing this. I know it’s difficult and you must feel really conflicted. My question to you is have you thought about what kind of energy you are currently putting out into the universe? I’m not saying there is a right or wrong choice – you need to find your own inner truth. It’s up to you to make your choice. I caution you to be clear about what you really want. My suggestion to you is to seek counselling so you understand what you want.

      With blessings,
      Selina

  15. hiebknsoul says:

    Last year I met soulmate after having been with my fiance for 7 years…. I truly love my fiance but we were already having issues, when I met my soul mate. It was instant … I knew for a fact that I knew this man , had loved this man mb in a different life. The connection was so strong and I am thankful that we got a couple months together. As you mentioned above we we not in the same growth period and we couldn’t stay together. I love him so deeply it hurts to know I may not be with him until another life… it sometimes feels like im living a life that doesnt belong to me without him here to live it with me. The man im engaged to is a a wonderful man and we too have a great connection… he makes me happy as well but I know he is not my soulmate. I actually told him we would meet again in another life and I hoped to be able to love him fully next time.my soulmates father recently passed and he reached out… I wanted so badly to be there for him but all I could offer were words and nothing else. Does it ever happen ? Do you ever meet at the perfect time? I feel like a lifetime with him would be such a gift I may not yet deserve.

    • Selina says:

      Hi,

      Thanks for sharing this with. Perhaps what this man gave you is just what you needed in the moment and you can value the time you had together for that in addition to the connection you feel. If everything happens for a reason, which I am a believer in, then your two months together is what was meant to be – at least for this lifetime. Although rare, soul mates do meet and can be together without obstacles. I am glad to hear that you are now with a man that makes you happy, even if you do not connect with him as a soulmate. Honour the gifts and learnings your soulmate gave you, and know that we all meet again when we are on the other side. Until then, your spirits will always be connected.

      All the best,
      Selina

  16. jennifer says:

    I found out my soulmate is my cousin is that wrong that we both feel the same way for each other.We just miss each other like crazy .

    • Selina says:

      Hi Jennifer,

      In some cultures, being with a cousin is accepted and in others it is not. Is this something that would be accepted by your families and if it isn’t, would you be willing to live with possible consequences of that? Do you have someone in the family you trust or a spiritual leader you can speak to privately?

      Selina

  17. mel says:

    My soul mate knows I am his soul mate. I know he’s mine. We are both He loved me openly in our youth stalked me to my door and I loved him at first sight.. we kissed once during our favorite movie.. which neither of us knew it was till it was on.. I ran. Out of fear he was too perfect for me too soon. Fast fwd 20 yes. He is really in love with his 3rd wife. I am okay with my husband of 15 yrs. Yet, We gravitated toward each other once every few yrs. Just to check in.. recently we tried to connect nothing happened but holding hands but we talked about it a lot. He got caught talking to me. Neither of us are cheaters though. It was a draw. An integral desire to see each other. We tried too soon and caused pain for 3.. He has shut me off for her. But I can still feel him. He hurts for three. I hurt for three. She hurts for two. My spouse does not know. It hurts. I wonder if our time will ever come this time round. I miss him. Even as a friend. I miss him.

  18. Reading every post from these sisters and brothers who share mirroring circumstances that I am experiencing is remarkable. During my 36 years on earth, I had always known that my soul mate was out there, but figured that amongst the billions of people that reside on earth, that coming into contact with my soul mate would be impossible or other wise only be by divine intervention. The day I met my soul mate was one of the most mystical and out of body experiences I have ever felt. I had landed a new job at a local University in which, for some time, had a notion that I should explore opportunities there. The day in question, I had entered the universite’s cafeteria, during lunch time, and immediately felt a strong attraction to a presence of a man I had never physically met. I did not allow myself to look at him directly because I could not understand why my senses had reacted so strongly, simply by entering the room with this person. He was there with his daughter and nephews, getting them a bite to eat, and I remember asking myself, he must be married and he has three kids, ….snap out of it!!! About a week later, while coming back from the restroom, I found him sitting in my office waiting on me. He had a baseball cap on his head and he had his head down as if he was in deep thought. At first I did not know that was him and I jokingly said to him, “Are you looking for me?” He looked up at me and smiled, and I turned bright red and was completely out of breath. I could tell he was flattered by my uncontrolled response to his presence. Since that day he and I have been inseparable. We have a natural ability to show up in the same places at the same time at work, to the point where one would think we were stalking each other. We have become best friends to eachother and have both expressed our mutal love and soul mate connection, but there are a couple obstacles to us getting together. I have a son and have lived with his father for over 10 years. Although I loved my son’s dad and am happy to have met him for the sake of my son’s existance, I have never felt the type of pure love and deep connection as I do with the man I met at work. Not a day goes by that I am not thinking about him, or fantacizing about us getting married and having a blissful life together. But as much as we want each other, he contends that he will not be a home recker. He does not want to be the reason that my son’s father and I are not together. I respect that about him, and I also do not want to break up my son’s home, but I feel like I am cheating his dad out of getting his true love, because in my heart, where I really belong is with the man I met at the University. I wonder if I will always have this undying yearning from someone I may never be able to have.

  19. Anna says:

    I am so grateful that I’ve found this site. I’ve been going out of my mind of what’s been happening to me and not being able to deal with it or share with anyone near to me without being judged. I’ve also met my soulmate three months ago. He was my Mom’s surgeon and the very moment our eyes met the very first time, I just knew it in my heart we are meant to be together. We had that incredible connection and I could see he was also experiencing it. He is the one I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life. I don’t let people into my life very easily so this happening I knew the feelings are for real. All I’ve been feeling for him is real. Just one problem… he is married, I’m single. I’ve seen him four more times in person. Been talking, joking, laughing… and it all are just so natural. But my heart is breaking because I know he is married. He is in my thoughts and dreams day and night. I just don’t know how to cope with it all. He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, but with him being married… He’s been brought over my path for a reason and I just wish I knew why.

    • Selina says:

      Hi Anna,

      Yes it’s difficult when one or both are not available and the question that everyone asks is “why?”. Why bring someone so perfect on your path if you can’t be with them.

      I know that every person in our lives shows us something about ourselves or teaches us something. Sometimes we are there more for them to show them or give them an opportunity to change and grow. But sometimes it’s because we love someone so much that we want them on our life path in some way, even if it means that they can’t be with us in a way we want. That may be because you need other people to experience what it is that you really need to learn. At least, that’s one way of looking at it.

      These are difficult circumstances. Do what you know is the right thing to do for you and that causes the least amount of harm for everyone.

      Be well,
      Selina

      • Anna says:

        Thank you Selina, I really appreciate your reply. It’s been extremely difficult to deal with and it really helps a lot to talk to someone about this. Giving me more clarity. I hope in time I will get my answers.

        Keep well.
        Anna

  20. Brenda says:

    I meet a very nice man older guy with a kind heart.The attraction was overwhelming.I didn’t understand this feeling excitement.I confessed my feelings which was uncontrolabe he was uncomfortable.I found myself giving him gifts anything. for his expression ,a smile.I found out that he was married, heartbreaking.I never experience such a thrill.I think,dream,fatansize about him always
    I want him so bad.Can’t wait to see him daily.What a feeling.Backing off can’t happen,won’t. Crazy Brenda

  21. renee says:

    three months ago meet this man, was like we had known each other for yrs.. we see each other as often as possible, he is married… we can’t stop seeing each other. I tell him I feel like I’m messing with his head cuz he is married, and he tells me he feels like he’s holding me up from finding someone who can give me their all… I know he will never leave his children, some ways I want to be selfish and take what’s mine, but I can’t do that to any child.. the more we see each other, the more we want! I’m writing this to ask if anyone has experienced like a shock or electrical jolt while being intimate with their soulmate? Him and I both felt it while ummm.. releasing at the same time…

  22. renee says:

    It wouldn’t let me continue…but… we have both searched the internet in regards to this shock/jolt… I’ve never experienced anything like it, nor he… this isn’t just a fling.. he loves me, Ilove him.. if he didn’t have children, it would be very different.. Itold him Ilove and want only him… I’m kinda hoping in a twisted way he gets caught… we drive toward each other to meet in the middle just to kiss, talk and hold each other for an hour or two.. Icant walk away from him.. he’s my home, my missing piece.. his soon Ifairly young and he says man, wish he was older so Icould run away and marry u now… Ijoke with him and say men have had mistresses or multiple wives since the beginning of time! Its only in the last century that’s its frowned upon! Lol we are both older and know that this is the real deal.. he was father less growing up and Iknow he will never leave his children by choice.. and I love him more for that! He’s now trying to figure out a way so Ican work with him… lol Iknow! I’m rambling… he’s just so amazing! Makes my heart skip a beat and smile when I think of him, which, of course is all the time! Thanks for listening to my rambles…obviously, can’t really talk to anyone else about this..have confided in my best friend…she tellls me to go for it…iwas single for 8yrs before I met him…I’m not physically repulsive by any means, just every date Iwent on there was something missing, and I’m not one to waste my time or someone elses! I’ve always had great intuition, I n tell just in the first few seconds of meeting someone if they are a nice person or something is just wrong about them… literally saved my life once!

    • Muntu says:

      I met this guy in a very awkward situation but the minute he saw me he sad he knew i was the one ,and asked for my numbers .A month later it felt like we knew each other for ever and he is married but always asks where i have been all his life .He is married with kids .The connection we have is out of this world ,he can feel if something is wrong with me without me telling him ,i can also sense if he is not feeling ok without me hearing it from him.We cannot stay away from each other and can talk about anything .I’ve been married before but have never felt this magical connection with any man before and it scares me sometimes.He always says he has finally met someone he has been looking for all his life and wants a way out of his marriage but i know i will not be happy with him knowing im the cause of the breaking of the marriage and deep down i know he will never leave his wife.ive tried breaking up with him but he got so sad and almost lost his mind and i couldnt bear being separated from him and i told myself i will try and accomodate his marriage even if it kills me seeing him going back to the wife .But im at the point where i cannot live without him and cannot bear seeing him going home in such a way that he will talk to me on the phone on his way back until he reached home and we would talk on bbm until he falls asleep.but this is so painfull and i still want to break it off but i cant

      • Selina says:

        Hi Muntu,

        It is difficult to stay in such an emotional situation where there is no growth and much stress. If you want to break this off and feel that you need support to get through this, then I suggest that you find a good therapist that can help you.

        All the best,
        Selina

  23. Garnet says:

    I met my soulmate alittle over than a year ago. For months I had such a steong magnetic attraction to him and couldn’t comprehend why…he remained a mystery for a while….didn’t know his name, who he was, but I was so infatuated and I had the feeling he was feeling the same way about me. There was a time he had disappeared for a while and during his absence I began to dream atleast once a week with him….my dreams always showed the same scenario…the both of us amongst a crowd of people and always interlocking eyes with each other and knew to escape from the crowd and know where to meet up…and when we would find each other, we would hug each other and knew we belonged together…..all these dreams still without even knowing his name. Then finally he re-appeared back into.my.life and i took the chance of breaking the ice. Come to find out he was married…but that didnt get in the way of us….overtime one thing led to another and we became inseperable. Everything he is and everything we did are what my dreams depicted and became reality… I had broken things off with him once for six months because of the circimstances becoming overwhelming, but I could feel that he was still thinking about me and the dreams would start up again showing me that he was going to be coming back into my life and it did happen….We really cant bear losing each other and still continue to see each other and still feels like magic….we hug, we love, we feel…we dont need words…its crazy….I just wish we didnt have to be in hiding and I wish for no one to get hurt….people say we are living a life of sin…but how can something so beautiful be sin…thats my story and I still don’t know what to do….

  24. anonymous says:

    Hello All, ***WARNING: THIS IS A LONG STORY***

    So, I have a similar story to share about meeting/being with a soul mate. Firstly, I do not believe that we have only one soul mate. However, I have only ever had one soul mate so far in this lifetime.

    To begin, I think it was early adolescence when I started dreaming/fantasizing about this “dream” person. You know, I was really young, and I would just get flashes in my mind about them, like out of nowhere. It’s been so long now I can barely remember specifics other than the feelings and slightly physical features…

    Anyway, fast forward to high school years. I transferred schools mid-sophomore year… started getting involved in activities and encountered this one person. I briefly admired them from afar, like a mad crush filled with mystery and uncertainty as well. Not too long, maybe a week, after I initially saw this person, a new friend of mine (who considered herself the match-maker type) asked if I was interested in anyone. I could hardly get the words out to tell her… but she knew who I was referring to. I really didn’t think anything of it; I basically thought, there is no chance in hell this person would like me because they are like a dream, not real. Then the first really crazy thing happened.. She returned the very next day with a note and revealed to me that when she asked him if he knew of me, he grabbed his heart and said “I LOVE her. She is my dream girl!”. When she told me this I was in complete shock. I did not know what to do with myself.

    PHASE 1: Anyway, he was currently dating someone but quickly ended the relationship when he was confronted by the mutual friend. There was actually another experience right within this timeframe, right before he ended the relationship with this other person, where we were both part of a large school activity..although we didn’t know it until all of sudden we came upon each other. He was standing with his then-girlfriend and as soon as we recognized each other, he stumbled back away from her with a huge smile on his face. Oh my God, I can still remember the intense emotions of that moment. Anyway, we ended up together, madly in love. I mean crazy love. We had this beautiful friendship. We would help each other grow in such personal ways and get lost in each others’s eyes. There was a deep connection between us on a physical, emotional and mental level…even though we had differences about us, we helped each other grow and fell more and more in love. We spent every possible moment together. People were mystified and touched by our relationship…It was very powerful, indeed. Then the shocker came after about a year of “dating” (which for us, consisted of getting rides to places, being chained to the rotary telephone for hours/sleeping on the phone, and even the occasional sleep over – awesome!!)… but his mother and stepfather made a decision to move across the country. It was completely devastating to both of us. He reacted with such rage towards his family and begged them for the remaining months not to do it. As the time got closer, I reluctantly accepted it as fate, and told him it was what he had to do and that he’d be better off. He did not accept that and ended up moving to his father’s house which caused him to change schools. He did not have a good relationship with his father, so this was a huge undertaking for him. During this brief period, we could not see each other very much, although he did “run away” from his dad’s and stay with me and my family for a couple days. A little while past and then the communication became less frequent. I of course was concerned, first that something bad had happened to him, then I found out from his friend that he was dating someone else. Of course I was appalled. Quickly he contacted me and told me he was moving to go be with his mother and family. There were so many emotions flying…I fell to the floor in despair. I couldn’t bare to bring up the other girl. I cant even remember what I said. It was over.

    PHASE 2: Fast forward.. I continued to be in love with him in my own heart. I did not date. I had no interest in anyone. I was in deep depression. I dreamed about the day I would see him again. Randomly at places I would hope to meet him. Then close the end of senior year, we bump into each other as he was randomly “visiting” the school from out of town. It was deadlock stare again, at first, not sure to smile or walk away. We tried to say hello and it was a horrible mess. We were very awkward and unkind to each other… there was just generally a lot of tension and heart ache (definitely on my end I know). Then it was over again.

    PHASE 3: Fast forward again… I continued to think about him all the time, still searching for him in other people (a replacement of sorts)… After high school, throughout our 20’s, he would contact me about every two years to “check-in”… it was still all awkward with this sort of passive-aggressive energy. I would get butterflies in my stomach every time he’d call, but then as soon as we’d start conversing it would quickly turn into this weird thing where we would make fun of eachother…much like the initial encounter after we broke up. I was so upset with myself for still being in love with him. I could hardly stand to talk to him. Why was he calling me, I would ask myself. It was torture, yet I still longed for him… He continued to call every two years… year 4 I told him I was dating someone, who he proceeded to make fun of and to which I proceeded to make fun of him per usual… year 6 I became pregnant (unplanned), and had to make the decision to tell him when he called… it was the worst moment of my life, worse than the initial break up. He proceeded to stutter and ask probably 5 to 6 times if I was sure, or to repeat it, and say stuff like “I cant believe it”… My child was due on his birthday… which he also started going on about… It was just horrible, but things ended somewhat on a lighter note. I knew something was off. He stopped calling after that… and then in year 8 I sent him a facebook invitation. In year 9 he joined facebook and started posting about his life. I was immediately drawn to try to converse with him thru facebook and told him he looked well, and I was happy for him. Then I closed my account because I really couldn’t bare to see him. It was just too painful. Yet, I still continued to think of him…

    PHASE 4: Now in our late 20’s/early 30’s, I started suffering severe depression from my life circumstances… being in a dead-end job, an unsatisfying marriage (forced), an awesome child dangerously close to rebellion… I started seeing a counselor. I pleaded with my husband to see a counselor with me to work on our marriage… things just kept going nowhere. I would spend a lot of time alone… ALOT. Mid-year I had a very powerful dream about being with my old love. I had not seen him (it was just too painful), but the dream was so real and I was so incredibly happy in it that it really shook me up. I continued for the later half of the year to be depressed and developed anxiety over my situation. Then one night, a couple months ago, I went completely crazy and was driving recklessly, I did not care about anyone or anything. Then I had a revelation – I thought to myself, “This is not me”. It was that night that, out of nowhere, I reached out to my old love.

    PHASE 5: I contacted him thru facebook that night a couple months ago. He immediately responded, surprising saying that he had just been thinking of me. We chatted about how life had been… everything seemed good on his end… then I started to open up about how miserable I was… I got nervous and tried to end the conversation (like so many times before), but he kept the conversation going. The topic of our hometown finally came up and then the awkward moment of talking about the break-up finally happened… I could not control my emotions and just laid it all out on the line.. Told him I was irrationally still in love with him, and had been all along, etc. He kept going with the conversation, telling me that he will always love me, that I was his first love, he regretting everything regularly, he never wanted to leave me, he went crazy after we separated, that his life has not been great, that he nearly died last year, horrible relationships, that he has compared every girl to me, etc. I could hardly stand it!!! There was alot of this back and forth. He was concerned about my husband. However, my husband and I had already been discussing divorce for years, and he just really wanted me to be happy. {CHANGE 1} I immediately told my husband I wanted a divorce the day after I first contacted my old love. I was finally completely certain that my husband was not the right person for me, and that it didn’t make any sense for us to continue holding each other back. He agreed. I was also upfront that I had reconnected with an old love who had helped me confront this truth. He accepted that. {CHANGE 2} I immediately quit my dead-end job of 6 years out of nowhere (had also been in discussions with my boss for several years about my dissatisfaction with the company – but unable to find work despite having over-actively interviewing for 4 years with no luck). My old love and I continued this sort of “rediscovery” conversation for a few days and then decided to talk on the phone. We drove each other absolutely crazy… in a good way. Then we decided we needed to see each other. Our conversation continued non-stop for a few weeks, online and by phone and we pretty much decided that we were destined to be together as life long friends with an undeniable sexual, physical, emotional, mental (and spiritual) connection…and then I arrived.

    PHASE 6: I drove across the country to be with him. We connected physically instantly. He came charging out at me. Gave me the biggest embrace and I just cried and cried into his chest, him saying, “its ok, its gonna be ok”. Then we pushed back and he just started holding my face and brushing back my hair and repeating “you are so beautiful. oh my god. you are so beautiful” and then he told me he had to run back into his work for a little while longer, and so I waited a few minutes..then I sent him a message that said, “If I could turn back the clock, I would find you sooner and love you longer”. Nearly instantaneously he came running back out and tackled me. Well, you know what happened. I was done for. We spent two and half weeks together. Confessing everything our hearts desired. To be together forever. To make a home. To have my daughter with us. That we were made for each other. That we will love each other until we die. Completely lost into each other. That deep soulful stare. (I did not even go into detail here about how much my daughter parallels and plays into this). Wild crazy love. Surreal moments. Going to the grocery together, going on actual dates without parental involvement! LOL… It was like our whole relationship had been on pause for 15 years, and then action, only we were older, more mature, and had adult lives. Shockingly (but what isn’t by now?!), I also experienced the dream I had earlier in the year before I had reached out to him, only this time it was really happening. It was exactly like the dream, the way he looked (and he has changed alot since our high school days – but so have I), the feelings, the movements… everything was exactly like the dream…… Then came the time for us to part. That was not good at all. Lots of tears. Could hardly break away. He came in for another and I put my hand on his chest to stop. He got me one more time anyway :) I sat in my car for 5 – 10 minutes trying to clear my head to focus on driving out. Then he watched me drive away as I blew him a kiss…and I mean he watched me drive ALL the way.. and I watched him in the rearview until the road disappeared.

    PHASE 7: Currently we are in this odd state of experience. It is like the same thing that happened the last time we were separated. Only this time we are keeping in contact, but we can’t bare to talk on the phone although we both admit via text that we want too very badly… but it’s that same horrible feeling, like it’s too painful because we, once again, can’t be together and it just drives us crazy. We are both frustrated because it is taking so long to get my house sold and finalize the divorce with the judge. However, I am planning on returning in a few weeks to visit on his birthday, new years and the week after. When I return my divorce will be final and the house will be sold, and I will be free to go. My daughter will initially be with her father, and visiting me and my love. And then further on, she will come to be with us, if that is what she wants of course. He says he “relishes” the thought of her wanting to know him. And she is absolutely crazy about him, and going to live with us. I, personally, feel like these separations are another test in our relationship. It took 15 years for us to achieve the emotional maturity to face the truth about our relationship. I feel that if we do not make it through these separation phases (if we turn passive-aggressive towards each other, instead of communicating how we feel), that we will be reunited again, either later in this lifetime, or another lifetime.

    Side note: I did have an astrological reading done, and it was very in-depth and accurate regarding our long-standing relationship as well as projections for the future. She did mention that we have strikingly similar karmic paths, that we are developing the same spiritually as separate individuals, and that it is most definitely past life connection. It sounded very promising for the future as well.

    However, one thing I know for sure is that there is just NO MORE DOUBT that this relationship will last forever.

  25. anonymous says:

    Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that he never did cheat on me. That was a lie/mistruth that his friend made up because he wasn’t sure what he was doing either. It turns out that he was just torn up about the decision to move and was struggling to find a way to tell me. The whole time, 15 years, I had that fear and distrust because of that misunderstanding…which is why I had so much tension and heartache and was never about to express my feelings towards him when he’d call (that, and we were both being immature, nervous, etc). After we initially reconnected this time, we both talked about it and how we both that the other had “moved on first” and it was just a complete misunderstanding the entire time. COMMUNICATION!!! However, we both believe that this all happened for a reason, and are just happy to be part of each other’s lives again.

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